I am doing an exercise to go deeper in the experience of what’s going on right now in our lives. There are many question marks.

We moved to this region for an assignment that is now over. There may or may not be something else to do here in the coming months. We don’t know where we are going next.

We made the assumption that we would have some months to “plan” the next move (in a couple of years). Nevertheless, the current changes are forcing us to look at the options much sooner than expected and probably with less time to plan.

We try to stay positive, trust that the outcome will be good. We trust we’ll be treated with respect and care, but we don’t know what’s out there for us in the near future.

As per myself, I quit my job to come here; I have started up a business that still needs time to grow. I am not sure how much energy to invest in it right now. Therefore, I am using the same strategy I used in 2009 when we were experiencing drastic changes at work. I take time to stay grounded, open and positive. I keep my goals in mind, working towards them, but being very flexible. There is a big chance that my goals will need to change, but the essence will still be there: the reasons why.

I am apparently very calm, but I catch myself reacting over little things. I have a tendency to control. The energy that drives the controller in me is good, it is the drive to start new projects, take initiative, and so forth. But when I react, I am like a bulldozer and I can hurt people. So, it’s important for me to be aware of it and my impact. So that I can refocus the energy into what’s needed at the moment. That usually gives me great inner peace.  So, when I catch myself reacting, I take a pause to adjust something. I don’t expect myself not to react, but I am more and more aware of when I do it and I recover quicker and quicker. That’s progress and that’s what really matters.

Work in progress
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